Taking a break.

Hey guys,
I just wanted to make a quick post to say that I will not be blogging on here any longer. I am very sorry to have offended anyone with my last post. That was not my intention. Through that post I was just trying to say that I am growing closer to other people. Even though I am becoming better friends with other people it does not mean that I don't like my other friends or that I don't want to hang out with or anything like that. Also, when I was talking about how I sometimes get bored when I hang out with some of my other friends I am sorry but it is true. Again, its not like I don't like them I just feel like with a lot of them they don't trust me and therefore I find whenever we go to "hangout" I have nothing to talk to them about because I find most (not all) don't tell me anything anymore. I realize that they same could be said about me and I apologize for that as well. Again, I am really sorry to have offended anyone. I never want to hurt anyone. Anyway, that is not the only reason for me stopping my blog but it is one of the main reasons. I may come back again one day but I wouldn't hold your breath if i were you.

Bye guys. 

New Friends :)

I'm making new friends you guys :). Well kind of anyway. So yeah lately I have been hanging out with different people. It's not that I don't like me other friends I do they are amazing. I just am becoming closer friends with other people because it seems like we have more to talk about, like more in common and stuff. Like my other friends still talk and stuff and I still love them but like at lunch I am usually with my friends D, V, and J. Also, I am starting to like someone else. I still like Selano  but I am starting to really like this other guy but I am not going to say who on here just in case. I don't want to jinx anything. But yeah, things are going well for me. The play is coming up soon which is exciting and after that I have like 2 1/2 months until dance is over which is really sad but it also means summer is coming really soon.Well actually summer is pretty much here. It was really warm today and on Sunday and Monday it is going to be like 25 degrees! Today was such a good day. At like 3 me and my friend R went to the park and then to my house then the book store then the pet store then we went around fundraising for her mission trip over spring break. It was honestly just so much fun like you have no idea. Usually when I am hanging out with my other friends we get bored of each other and we run out of things to talk to each other about because we know everything that the other person is willing to share but with R we never got bored and we might go back out tomorrow and Sunday. Other than that I am getting new glasses this weekend and more contacts :).  I have also gotten really into singing, music, and choreography. I have always loved them but lately I have just had all these ideas for dances in my head and when I hear the perfect song ahhhhh! I go insane! You should see me in my basement it is crazy :p . I also have been really into singing in general. I have thought about putting a video up on youtube or something but I am to scared to. I have always been into music though but lately I have just been finding a ton of songs that I can relate to so yeah whenever someone is in my room there is some song on.
That's it for right now, spring break is soon so I'll try to post more then but yeah.
Good night!

For Taylor :P

So I decided to write this post because of my wonderful friend Taylor. She recently commented on my last post telling me to her her everything between my and Selano and since I have no where to go tonight I thought why not. I guess I will start from the beginning.  We first met almost three years ago in my 3rd year of hip-hop. At first I never really talked to him because well, I would always talk to my other friends. But then when we were learning out recital dance that year we were put in the same group and so we started talking and we became really good friends. I'm not going to lie. I did like him for a bit that year. I remember seeing him at school some days because his school came to me school for foods class. However, I very quickly got over that and then it was summer. The next year for the first half of the year we were in different classes (he was moved up 1 level, I was moved up 2)  but in December we was moved up to my class. I really don't remember much more than that though. Other than during dress rehearsal for recital. On that day I was there for like 3 hours because both of my classes were rehearsing that day and they were running way behind so since I had not eaten all evening he bought me two chocolate bars. haha I only ate one that day the other I ate before recital that Sunday. Then it was summer once again and I did not see him for two months. Then came this year. He started going to my school this year but since we are in different grades we didn't see each other very much other than on the bus. However, we quickly learned we were in the same hip-hop class and then in October we both joined our school play. Our friendship has grown so much this year. At the beginning of the year he would never were his hat to class, he would always come late, and he would always go last across the floor for warm up. After I asked him to wear his hat to class once he always wears it. After I told him to come to class earlier once he has never been late and ever since my friends and I asked him to do warm up with us he is always at the front. I guess it is hard to explain why you feel a certain way about a person. There are many people who don't think I should like him simply because we are in different grades however, I think that at a certain point age because irreverent. Anyway back to the history lesson. So our friendship continued to grow and although it may sound cheesy I don't think I have ever liked someone more. Whenever I am around him I don't feel like I have to be a certain person or look a certain way. For the first time, I feel like I can be myself.We now talk almost everyday (every week day anyway) and I actually think we enjoys talking to me. Yesterday after we got off the bus (we were really late because there were 2 trains and the roads were a mess) it was snowing and was really cold. His mom was waiting across the street in their car for him so I said that I was going go. But, he told me not to. I told him that his mom was waiting and his response was "so?" So, I stayed for a bit but not to long because I was really cold. One thing that I do find kind of strange is that he didn't tell me what happened on Friday. (If this was a television show this is were there would be a flashback) So at lunch I was hanging out with my friend K before he class when I saw D ( the girl in grade 12 who likes him) and some of my other friends. D looked kind of upset and was saying "oh, I shouldn't have said anything". When I asked her what she was talking about she told me that she told Selano that she liked him and he said he didn't want a relationship right now. I just find it strange that when I asked him how his day was on the bus (I wanted to see if he would tell me or not) he said that it was the "same old same old" and later when e asked if he could text D on my phone and I asked why he said "Just wanted to say Hey yo, Whats up". I guess I just don't get why he wouldn't tell me. We usually tell each other everything. I guess we will see how it goes on Monday during rehearsal. The funny thing is, is that I was actually going to tell him yesterday on the bus ride home that I liked him. M told me not to though because that would really freak him out. So , for now, its back to admiring from a far. I hoped you enjoyed my explanation of everything between us Taylor, I will try my best to keep you updated. It was because of your blog that was going to tell him that I did. Maybe one day I will, but for now I think its best if I let him deal with D.
Have a very good amount of time between now and when I post again.
<3 love you !

Back to normal?

It weird. Things have never been more different yet it seems like I am finally becoming the person I have missed being. A long time ago (like 3-4 years ago) I also used to write. Like a lot. I would write lists of things I wanted to do when I was older, I would write in a journal, I wrote songs, and most importantly I wrote stories. However, about 2 year ago (at the end of grade 8) I stopped. I don't really know why I stopped I think I just lost interest in it. The reason I am telling you guys about this is because I think not writing has really affected me and who I have been as a person. Writing gave me a way to express how I was feeling without anyone saying anything to me about it. Once I stopped I ended up keeping everything inside and telling letting it out which in turn made me get angry with people for no reason. But this stops now. Yesterday evening I found my most recent writing book and I have already started writing again. I can't remember the last time I have felt this happy. However, mixed in with the happiness is sadness because I really miss my friend Taylor. For anyone who may not know, she moved to Saudi Arabia a little more than a week ago. Taylor, I  hope everything is going well and that you made tons of new friends at your new school.
In other news, on Monday since there is no school I am going to go to the mall with three of my friends. It is going to be me, Rowan, Maddi, and Selano. I think it is safe to say I am more than a little bit excited. We are going to go to build-a-bear but instead of making myself a bear I am going to make my sister a get well soon bear because she is getting her wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday.
Have a great day!  

Long Time No Talk. Update.

Hey,
So, I have decided that I am really going try blogging more. I know I say this a lot but I just feel like I have more to say now. Weird right? Well anyway, since I have not really told you guys what's happening with me lately, other than Selano passing out, I thought I would take today and just tell you guys what is going on with me. First, I started 2nd semester on Monday which is actually pretty fun. At first I was kind of scared because in three of my classes I didn't think I known anyone but once I went to my classes I found people and although I don't have as many friends I would like it is still going okay. My classes this semester are gym, grade 11 pre-cal, geo, digital pictures, and pgl English. So far I like most of my classes, the only one I don't like I actually hate and that is geo. The teacher I was supposed to ave left so know my teacher is the art teacher. The first thing she said to us was that she didn't have any experience with geography. But whatever I'm sure I will get use it it.....maybe...... My math class was the class I was least excited about started because it is a grade 11 course and i am in grade 10 but I actually really like it and my teacher is actually really nice. I've also had more practices for the school play that I am in. I really love being in the play because it is something that I am some what good at. Since the play has very few words and is all choreography the director made me and two other girls "dance captains" to help some of the people who needed more time to learn it because she can't do everything. So this week on Tuesday  I was helping people from one of the scenes and she said that I was doing a great job. I've also been trying to stretch a lot more because I am SO close to being able to do the splits. My goal is to be able to do them by March. I've been trying really hard in dance lately as well. My goal for next year is to be invited to invitational classes. Also next Saturday my friends and I are going to go to the mall and go to Build -a- Bear. I am so freaking excited. You have no idea.I have never been there before so yeah. We were going to go today but we decided not to because my friend Madi would not have been able to come because her Grandma passed away earlier this week. I feel so bad for her. I loved her Grandma she was one of the nicest people I've ever met and Madi was really close to her. In other news apparently  Selano likes someone from his other dance class but he won't tell me her name. Haha. It was kind of frustrating when he told me that though because first was saying that he didn't like anyone and then he said that. (We started talking about this because he said on Valentines Day he was going to give a rose to a random girl and I was like you should give to the girl you like and yeah it went on from there). After he told me I was kind of disappointed but not because he didn't like me but because I felt like he was acting like he was. Like on Monday we hugged like 15 times in one hour, on Wednesday he got my to play chess with him, on Thursday we hung out all rehearsal and was making me laugh like crazy (I couldn't even look at him for part of it) and like at lunch and stuff when he sees me we would actually talk. Like a lot. (On Friday my friend yelled at me because we were late for YIP because he was talking to me. But whatever, I  honestly don't think anything is going to change though because we were friends before I liked him and I have been trying to get over him lately anyway and I think that this will help. I just don't want to like anyone right now. I want to focus on other things. Like writing on here and school. Some posts that I am going to be writing other than ones about what is happening in my life are about how I plan on following my dream, possibly book reviews, and other stuff that doesn't talk about me. Now I am going talk to you guys about something more ..deep? I don't know if that is the right word but yeah.
So if you read my friends blogs (Mostly S and Taylor) you know that they have been posting really deep post lately and they have really made me think about my life and my morals (okay well the morals thing is also partly because of English but whatever.) One thing they were saying was everything happens for a reason. Once Taylor posted that I thought back and realized that she's right. Even though when something happens it may feel awful at that point it time later on you will see that if that had not happened you wouldn't be who you are today. For example, at the end of grade six when we all found out what class we were going to be in for grade 7I was really upset because my three best friends were all in the class that I wasn't in. Now that I look back at that I am glad because no being in the class let me make other friends that I wouldn't have become friends with other wise. Something else that S posted really got me thinking. She made a whole post talking about choices and that post really made me think about the choices I've made in life and it made me see that I have made the best choices with my life. I mean its not like I've made horrible choices like doing drugs or anything but when I look back to grades 5, 7, 8, 9 and part of 10 there are a lot of things I regret. I know people say to live with no regrets but right now I just feel like I could be a lot happier if I had no done some of the things that I did. That being said, everything happens for a reason one of the biggest things I regret is pretty much all of grade 5 but if what did happen did not happen than in grade seven I might not have met the people who are now my best friends.I guess I just have to stop living in the past. Over the past week that has been my biggest realization. I have to stop looking back to the past and I have to start looking at the present. It seems like I'm always think about the past of the future never the present. So, that is my new goal. Live life to it's fullest because you never know when it will be over. You can't control you future and you can't change the past. All you can do  is try to be as happy as you can and live your life as if it is your last day on earth.
Well I think I am just rambling now so I'm going go. I promise I'll write more.
Night Guys
P.S. RIP Grandma Cassel 

From Great to Terrifying

Hey, so sorry I haven't posted in a while I have just been busy with exams and such. But exams are over now and I have a few days to rest before I go back to school. So today started off great. I got to sleep in this morning cause I didn't have school which felt amazing. Than I went to my friends going away party which was really fun. Her party was so great because it was all of our best friends together doing all of the things we love to do. So we all meet at our friends house (the one who planned the party) and than we walked over to this hill by our old school and went selding. Once we got back to her house we ordered pizza ate a bunch of food and watched a movie. Even though we were all said because Taylor is leaving it was nice to have such an awesome time with her today. I also reconnected with an old friend today which was really cool. So, I left her party around 8 because I had to go to dance at 8:30 which I was really excited for because the guy I like is in my class and us and our 2 other friends were going make plans to hang out. It started off great. During warm up we were all talking and laughing (we kind of got yelled at but whatever we were having a ton of fun) and then when we were doing something that i thought I couldn't do he was being really supportive and started clapping for me :). After warm up we got water and split into two groups to do this step step heal step thing which is so much fun and is one of my favorite moves. But, after we did that things got scary. So, the guy I like (his name is Selano) walked off into the corner and was drinking water then my dance teacher asked if he was okay and he said he was feeling "fuzzy" so she told him to go into the lobby and drink water/cool down. Now, in my dance studio there are windows so I could see everything that was happening. So peter (who helps teach us) went out with him and he sat down. Then when he tried to stand up he collapsed! So at this point both my teachers are out with him and my two friends and I are talking and we were freaking out. Eventually one of my teachers came back in and tried to keep teaching us but we were all watching him. I don't know if you guys will understand how bad I felt but in the moment I was never more scared. He looked like a ghost and I actually thought they might have needed to call 911. So as we watching we saw him sit up at one point and were happy but we went down again very quickly. About 20ish minutes later when class was over he eventually stood up and is okay now but I have honestly never been more scared. It also really freaked me out because when I was at Taylor's party one of my friends asked what was happening between us and and (totally jokingly ) I said "nothing he died." I honestly felt so bad. Like I said he is okay now but from what he was telling me it sounded scary. Apparently his head was killing him and he couldn't see a thing. So, everything is okay now but I am still a little freaked out. Anyway, I won't see him till Monday so I hope he is okay. (My 11:11 wish was that he would be okay). I should go now though I feel like my mom is going come in and yell at me for being on the computer.
Night Guys!
P.S. Taylor, I am going miss you so much. You are one of my best friends and I plan on telling you everything that is happening with me while you are gone. But this isn't goodbye forever. We will see each again. We will all be here waiting for you when you come back. Some people might be taller, hair may be longer or shorter but we will always love you.  

Why are people stupid?

So today has not been a good day. I am just going to say that. I tried so hard to look at the positive side of things today but sometimes I just can't. The first thing that made my day horrible was that I did not do very well on my Bio test. But, during the next period (science) I forgot about that but we got a booklet of worksheets which take forever to do. Then during my spare my day went from bad to awkward when this guy said that me and this other guy should have sex.(It took all I had to say "Ew no." cause he was there as well). Lunch was okay I guess. English was good. I sat beside my friend Taylor and the half period went by really quickly. Math was stupid as usual (My teacher got so confused/frustrated he just let us leave but it was only a couple of minutes early). After school was the worst though.I was waiting for my bus which was really late and then my sister came over and starting yelling at me. Basically, it started off with her saying to know the whole story before I say anything cause I was making fun of her for "getting lost" when she did it on purpose. Then she continued to say I was a "F***ing c***" and that I had no friends. Then she turned to the girl I was standing with and said that she shouldn't be friends with me because I would just stab her in the back. And then she kept calling me a horrible person. I then said that I really did have friends but then she said that no one really liked me and everyone would be better off without me. I know I shouldn't care what people think of me but when that comes from your sister it really hurts. It took everything I had to not start crying right there. But i didn't cry. I walked away and waited for the bus inside. Then the bus didn't even come until like 2:45 - 2:50 ish. When I got home my day got somewhat better we had a really good dinner but my sister still swore at me when my mum wasn't home but now that she is she is pretending that nothing happened and that we are best friends. And I had to stay home from dance cause the roads are to slippery. So yeah all in all it was a horrible day. Sorry for the depressing post. I just needed to vent.